1. The personal are artificial.
a.) Let’s start with the front desk. They key in your membership number and THAT IS IT! Do not challenge them for more. Do not probe about the gym, or gym memberships. Do not ask for help signing up for a class or a personal training session or anything. You are inconveniencing them from being VERY BUSY, and you have to do it yourself online. Not to be fallacious, they will hand you a sheet of paper to instruct you to DIY online... At home... Away from their biz-E-nous! (If you don’t believe me, call the gym and ask about memberships. You need to have a high-pressure meeting with one of the two trolls upstairs. Front desk will not help with anything). Now on to the two trolls: b.) i.)The two girls who are high pressure sales people. There’s a brunette and a blondish lighter haired one. The brunette is a snake. She will lie to you and tell you whatever it takes. For me she said that that I could write off my membership. (She got to...
1. The personal are artificial.
a.) Let’s start with the front desk. They key in your membership number and THAT IS IT! Do not challenge them for more. Do not probe about the gym, or gym memberships. Do not ask for help signing up for a class or a personal training session or anything. You are inconveniencing them from being VERY BUSY, and you have to do it yourself online. Not to be fallacious, they will hand you a sheet of paper to instruct you to DIY online... At home... Away from their biz-E-nous! (If you don’t believe me, call the gym and ask about memberships. You need to have a high-pressure meeting with one of the two trolls upstairs. Front desk will not help with anything). Now on to the two trolls: b.) i.)The two girls who are high pressure sales people. There’s a brunette and a blondish lighter haired one. The brunette is a snake. She will lie to you and tell you whatever it takes. For me she said that that I could write off my membership. (She got to know me and that I have an online business and work for myself). Why would she do this? Well, her objective is to get you to sign up for the largest package. It is a business after all. Let’s not be naive here. And when you get to know someone, you can sell them more because you are now “buds.” These sales people know this. They also know tricks like asking the same thing twice as you are more likely to say “yes” the second time. More on this later. Now, I do not blame her for this, but do not lie and come off as an accountant. I was dooped. I believed her that I could write off my membership. She must know though, right? She does this everyday, right? This is why I am mad. I hope in writing this that when you sign up for the gym it is commission based and the lighter haired girl gets more people signing up for the gym. REQUEST HER if you must still go to this gym. The goal of this rant is obviously to discourage you from signing up for this gym, but liars are one thing I cannot stand. Don’t sign up with the brunette lady. Wait for the other girl to become available. PLEASE AT LEAST DO THIS FOR ME AND STAND UP AGAINST SUCKERS LIKE ME WHO BELIEVED HER. You should never lie to people or come off as an expert to make the sale. It’s also just bad karma. Common now. ii.)I’m not done with these high pressure sales associates either. They are step one to introducing you to the idea of of a personal trainer. They are the ones putting that bug in your ear. Decide now, do you want one? YES OR NO, and stick to this. Your answer will be challenged later by a lady in the a corner office pressuring you to give more money and sign up for a personal trainer. Your muscles may not be strong, but your mind is...right?More on the witch in the corner office later. I’m not done with the two trolls yet.
iii.)Lets say you are crunching numbers at home, not your abs, and you decide that you do not want to go to the gym anymore. It’s easy to quit, right? WRONG! It goes by appointment, and everyone at the gym is VERY busy, so you cannot just walk in a cancel with the girls at the front desk (remember they are extra busy). Take my advise, KEEP IN MIND THAT when you go in to cancel that is what you are going in to do! CANCEL! QUIT! The trolls know the tricks. They will offer you a break off your membership for a month, they will offer you a discount, they will offer you lots of things and repeat your options to you twice or three times because you are weak! Your abs might be, but your mind is not. SAY NO AND CANCEL BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO! Know that these trolls are sales people. They know the tricks of getting to know you and using that against you. They know that if they repeat an option twice you are more likely to agree the second time. They know what to say to you. Remember, I too am a business person. I have read the same books. Maybe that’s why I’m mad? I fell for it? Read the other reviews, so did some other people. I assumed the brunette knew the rules of accounting because she was nice. I’m a sucker.
c.) So one of the two trolls got you and you are now a member of this beautiful gym that smells like fast food from the kitchens underneath it. (Don’t believe me? Go for a tour and check out the hot yoga room. .. yes, and gross, but yes this is true). But wait!! Before you can go work out and come and go as you please you have to meet with the witch with the corner office. (Don’t worry one of the trolls sets up this appointment because the girls at the front desk are very busy). This witch with the corner office will great you with a smile and comes off friendly. What is her role really? TO MAKE YOU PAY MORE MONEY!!! She will tell you that just showing up is not enough and you want to succeed so you must pay more money and have a personal trainer. If you don’t have a personal trainer, why are you even bothering? She explained that when you are in training classes you are always standing and moving. This is how YOU WORK THAT CORE!!! You must never sit to work out. She went as far as pointing to a lady who was working out outside her office. “See that lady there?” she said. “She’s sitting and working out. She’s not using her core. She’s not getting a full workout. She doesn’t have a trainer.” .... ummm, that’s how the machine is used? It’s for the arms. You sit to use it. Shame on that lady for using that machine. SHAME!!! I thought that was really awful. And the office door was open too, I hope that poor lady without a trainer didn’t hear her. The witch in the corner office then gets you take take off your shoes and step on a neat little machine that tells you how fat you are. She will even take away 2lbs for your clothes. Thanks! Now what is the point of this? I have no idea because you will never go back on that machine to see if you have changed or improved or anything. It’s pretty much something to say you are fat and you need a personal trainer. SIGN UP FOR A PERSONAL TRAINER NOW!!!!!! GIVE US MONEY NOW! d.)The trainers. They are catty to each other! Let me tell you. And they laugh at you. They are the experts you hired for help. They should be professional. But they aren’t. And don’t ask for any help with nutrition. They won’t do that. I think you have to see the witch in the corner office and sign up for a different class. You may not always get the full hour session you paid for either. It will start late and end early. If you are ever late you will hear your trainer talking about it to other trainers. And they will always have time to remind you to sign up for more sessions. 2.) The Classes. Remember that the hardest part of the gym is showing up! You don’t always need a trainer. Your eyes are bright as you study the class schedule and fantasize how you are going to attend every class and make your life so much better. You now belong somewhere. You even bought new clothes to match your new outlook on life. Showing up is the hardest part and you are there! LETS DO YOGA! (BTW Yoga is actually hard!!!) That’s my own problem though, flexibility is not a strong suit. Anyways, I showed up on time. Just in time... for a lady from the front desk to hit play. On a video... that you showed up for. There was not an instructor!!! The schedule sheet said there would be an instructor. I guess she quit? The other girls in the class were also put off by this. I was more impressed that the girls from the front desk found the time to push play on the video. 3.) Hidden Fee. There’s a hidden fee that happens in February. It’s about $20 bucks. I don’t remember exactly, but there’s this stupid hidden fee. The troll will smile at you as you are signing the contract and tell you that this fee is charged to you once a year. What is this fee? Well it’s to guarantee that you keep whatever membership fee you have. SO lets say you joined the gym three years ago for $50 bucks a month. Every year you pay $20 to ensure you keep this $50 price. Let me make a suggestion to you. SIGN UP FOR THE GYM AT THE END OF FEBRUARY/ BEGINNING OF MARCH. Avoid this fee. Plus are you really going to go to the gym in January with everyone else who is pretending that they suddenly are a different person because they bought a new calendar. Be real.
4.) Constant pressure. You really need to buy a trainer. You need to buy this class. You will not succeed with your own will power. Signs everywhere telling you to sign up for something. When you sit to pee there will be a sign to give the gym more money. Give them all your money.
I’ll leave you with this. I didn’t gain or loose any weight. I was laughed at by the trainer I paid for. I was ripped off minutes from my hour sessions I paid for. I wasn’t helped out by the front staff. I was lied to about how I could write off the gym by the brunette girl . I didn’t learn anything. My wallet got a bit lighter, that’s it. Thank you for reading my rant. I really just don’t want anyone else to go through what I did. If you are determined to sign up for this gym this is my advise:
1.) Sign up in March. That way you avoid the fee of $20ish dollars.
2.) When you go to sign up, do so for only three months. Tell them you are moving in three months, or make up something that way you can fight them when they try with their high tactic high pressure ways of keeping you at the gym. That way you can see if the gym is really for you. Everyone signs up for a year and then quits after the second month. Don’t give them your money.
3.) Don’t sign up for a trainer. You are not that stupid. Go a couple of times just you. Take the classes if you want some guidance. If after you go enough there is a stamp card and you you can have a free training session. Earn that. See if you like that. Then pay for the trainer. Otherwise don’t waste your money. What ends up happening is you only go to the gym to see the trainer, never on your own. And the work out isn’t as hard as it would have been if you had just pushed yourself to do it. Make the trainer a reward to yourself after you sign up and go on your own. Showing up really is the hardest part.
4.)Don’t sign up for the gym at all. Try doing some work outs at home. You have a computer. Do some YouTube work outs. Do that three times a week and earn a gym membership. Are you really into fitness, or do you just believe that by throwing money at something will make your life better? My goal of this rant really was just to make ONE person change their mind about joining the gym and at least FIVE people to say NO to a personal trainer, I also hope that at least THREE people go and confidently cancel their membership and are not convinced to do otherwise. I also hope that brunette sales lady looses a ton of commission to the less aggressive blonde lady. I also hope that witch in the corner office stops judging people who are trying to work out and better themselves. Please comment below if you agree or disagree with me. I think a balanced opinion is important. And I hope that people who want to get healthy for their new years resolution do more research on the gym they choose (don’t go to this one there are women only areas in other gyms). Good luck with your fitness goals. Thank you for reading my rant.