I never thought I'd say this but free food is not always a good thing.

This past Sunday I was slowly meandering my way to Blockbuster to pick up another cinematic masterpiece to add to my collection (this week, it was Superbad...and if I could rate movies on n49, I'd give it a 6/5...GENIOUS) when I stumbled upon "The Family Thai". I checked out the plethora of newspaper reviews plastered to their windows proclaiming their mastery of thai cuisine and decided to pick up a take-out menu for some gastromic pleasure to be enjoyed with my Oscar-worthy film later in the evening.

Listen up kids...NEWSPAPERS LIE! This place ripped me off worse than my fast-depleting pocket has ever been ripped off before. Let me count the ways:

1) The Family Appetizer Platter - $11.95: This consisted of enough food to feed a goldfish...and I think the goldfish would have still been hungry afterwards. Not to mention everything tasted like fish food to boot.

2) Thai beef steak - $8.95: I kid you not, there was probably a half cup of beef in this dish, piled on top of wilted ice berg lettuce.

3) Ginger chicken - $8.95: Since when do onions look like chicken? I'm pretty sure they thought I'd be fooled by this 1234908091234;1 ratio. If I wanted onion instead of chicken, I'd have paid 50 cents for an onion.

The only thing I can say was decent about this place was the fact that we got free pad thai because we ordered over a certain amount. The pad thai was decent but come on, you're a thai food restaurant...if you can't make pad thai then you should just quit now.

Bottom line, the moral of the story is this: do not be fooled by free food. If they're giving away food, it's probably not worth it. I'm definetly going to stick to the better known chains, such as Spring Rolls and Lemongrass, where I KNOW what I'm getting will be good.

My dad volunteered to take me and my boyfriend out for dinner, and I was given the dangerous decision of deciding where to go. After searching n49 for restaurants on the Danforth, I settled on Kokkino (mostly because I read they were just on "Restaurant Makeover" and I wanted to check out the new digs).

We got there at around 7ish and the place was virtually empty...not generally a good sign for a restaurant on a Friday. However, I had heard this place is more of a lounge on the weekends and doesn't get jumping until around 10 so I wasn't too frightened. Although there was one very drunk man sitting at the bar that asked me if I'd like to make babies...he was promptly excused from the premises.

Our waiter was super friendly (see pictures below), even giving my sister a complimentary drink when she spilled hers. The rest of the staff was great too, letting my little sister Olivia run around the restaurant in gleeful giggles. The menu was decent; limited, but a nice chance from the regular greek fare you get in the neighbourhood. My mussels were a little rubbery, but everything else was worth getting again.

All in all, a great, quiet family dinner. Minus the inappropriate question.

A self-proclaimed pub crawler, I am generally not a fan of hoity toity Toronto "lounges" (i.e. clubs with booths). I find them pretentious, expensive and time-consuming (you can't exactly go in yesterday's sweatpants, although I do encourage this at Terri O's on the Danforth).

However, The Fifth Social Club definetly shook up my previous notions, if only for a night. I tend to also hate the music they play at these things; "house techno", which makes me feel like I should be partaking in illegal activities at some underground rave. But The Fifth managed to mix it in well with other genres...lots of top 40, old school R&B (they played Bel Biv Devoe!) and even some good old fashioned rock hits (there's nothing like jumping up and down in high heels, screaming along with Bon Jovi and 150 other drunkards at 2 o clock in the morning).

What's more, the drinks were cheap, the cover was cheap, and the bouncers were (GASP!) friendly. The only thing I can really complain about are the godforesaken mile high metal stairs you need to climb up and down to get outside for a smoke; not exactly safe in high heels after a couple drinks. I, being extremely coordinated after a shot of tequila, managed to skid down these stairs, much to the delight of the 100 or so onlookers waiting to get in the club. I have the bruises to prove it.

I've heard great things about this restaurant's patio from lutz as well as numerous family friends, but was incredibly skeptic on trying it out. Walking along the Danforth, this place looks like your run of the mill pub...tiny and dark, with a small two-table patio at the front. Nonetheless, I decided to give my friends the benefit of the doubt and decided to try it out for an after-work beer (hey, if I didn't like it, I could always leave...no sense locking myself in for dinner if I find out the menu's star item is steak and kidney pie).

So we walk in and immediately I am taken aback. This ain't no pub! The waiters look like they're straight out of a French bistro, and the place even has a maitre d'! Ok so clearly not a pub. I nervously approach the guy and ask if the Toronto-renowned patio is really only the two rickety tables at the front of the restaurant. The guy smiles at me like he's had to go through this before, and I almost think he's going to pat my head and say "bless your little heart". He beckons us to follow him to the back of the restaurant and WHAT TO MY WONDERING EYES DOES APPEAR BUT A BIG GIANT PATIO AND A BLACKBOARD OF BEER!!!

Honestly guys, this patio is awesome. Wooden decking with huge trees interspersed throughout. I felt like I walked into the wardrobe and came out into Narnia. It was beautiful. But what made it even more beautiful was 3 giant blackboards listing different beers from around the world. I was like a kid in a candy store...these people KNOW their stuff. They don't sell any crap beer either (i.e. no Molson or Labatt beers on the entire beer menu!!!). I can't exactly remember what I got, but it was good. HINT: If you're having trouble deciding, or you don't know too much about beer, ask your server. They're incredibly knowledgeable and make some great suggestions.

The other thing I liked about this place was the lack of condescending attitudes. For what I now know is an upscale Irish-American restaurant, the staff made my boyfriend and I feel incredibly welcome, even though we were only there for a beer or two. Word of warning though, we got there early (5ish) so we were able to snag a table for an hour. Any later, and we would have been S.O.L. The place fills up fast, practically every night.

Judging from the amount of sushi reviews n49ers have been churning out, I have the feeling that the answer to the aforementioned title question is "yes please". The quest for the perfect sushi roll, much like the quest for the perfect pizza, cocktail, or break-up line, is a long and arduous journey that may never end.

It also may (read: most definetly will) burn a hole in your wallet. Sushi, good sushi that is, does not run cheap, which makes this quest exceptionally difficult for a penny-pinching student like myself. But when you find that hidden gem of a discount lunch special, you can feel victory coursing through your cheapskate veins.

This was the feeling I had today when I found myself craving sushi. To my dismay, I had to resort to reciting my daily affirmation: "no Jenny, pay day is tomorrow and you don't have any coupons". I was about to settle for a couple slices of cucumber and perhaps some leftover bagel scraps until jennifer told me about Kimono. For $6.99 ($6.99!!!!!!!!) you are rewarded with two different kinds of sushi, a salad, and a miso soup. I chose the Dynamite Roll and the California Roll (because I'm a pseudo sushi lover and don't REALLY like the taste of raw fish at all) and they were pretty darn good. If you don't mind the taste of warm, over ripened, mushy avocado, then this place is for you. The salad was nothing to scoff at either. What looked like orange bird doodoo spread over my lettuce turned out to be a pallette-pleasing carrot ginger dressing. I will choose not to comment on the miso soup because I hate it and am subsequently biased.

Back to me being a discount fiend, what I REALLY enjoyed about this place was the 15% off pick up orders. So my total for this spread was only $6.78...not bad for 12 rolls of sushi! I thought at first that the people working at the restaurant just really liked me and my cheery disposition but I was quickly corrected when I asked if this was the case.


VERDICT: Definetly not the best sushi I've ever had, but for $6.78 I'd go back again, disgusting avocado and all.

Ok so I'm moving to Toronto in September and decided to book my moving truck early (I've learned from past mistakes that September is a very popular month to move). I called this U-Haul location this morning at about 9:30, looking to get everything set up. No one answered the first two times I called, and after sitting there listening to about 15 rings you don't even get an answering machine (just that weird dialup noise). Finally, after a third try a very bored sounding woman answered the phone and then put me on hold to go get someone who can actually help me (why do you work at U-Haul if you don't know how to set up a reservation?). This "hold" lasted for about 10 minutes before I finally gave up.


So THEN I called the 1-800-GO-UHAUL number to try booking there. The girl was actually pretty friendly, but when it came down to paying for the truck she was out of her league. The conversation went something like this:

Uhaul: "So I'll just need your credit or debit card number in order to hold the truck for you."

Me: "I didn't know you can use debit cards for this kind of thing...weird."

Uhaul: "Um of course you can. Duh." (ok she didnt really say duh but the tone of her voice did)

INSERT ACCOUNT NUMBER HERE

Uhaul: "Ok and whats the expiration date on your debit card?"

Me: "Uh debit cards don't have expiration dates."

Uhaul: "Uh yes they do."

Me: "Uh no they don't."

Uhaul: "Can I put you on hold?"

INSERT HOLD MUSIC HERE

Uhaul: "So does your debit card have a Visa logo on it?"

Me: "NO IT DOESNT, ITS A FRIGGIN DEBIT CARD!!!"

Uhaul: "Ok then I'll need your credit card number."


Eventually I got everything booked up and settled (WITH U-Haul no less) but should I move again, I think I'll check out companies at move.ca other than U-Haul.

EDIT: The bored sounding woman is named Melissa. And she wasn't just having a bad day. I've called 3 times since this experience and I think she's just in a perpetually bad mood. I actually ventured to ask her if she likes her job and she summed it up pretty nicely: "No."