Kelowna's Gospel Mission

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I had to make an emergency business trip to Kelowna, to salvage a million-dollar real estate deal that was going south. Unfortunately, all of the 5-star hotels were booked for the weekend. A colleague recommended the Kelowna Gospel Mission to me, saying that it is well-known around Kelowna for top-notch service and warm, inviting atmosphere. I stayed for a night, and boy was I impressed!

I arrived just in time for the dinner service in the beautifully decorated dining room. The menu included succulent, thinly-shaved meat product, perfectly ripe carrots, and an interesting ice cream soup for dessert. The accompanying "dinner theatre" was very exciting! Afterwards, my belongings were carefully stolen, and the helpful staff showed me the front door.

My American Express card got me a free upgrade to a well-appointed semi-private room, which I shared with only 63 other guests. I was disappointed to find that room service was canceled for the night - hence the 4.5/5 rating.

The next morning, I received a personalized wake-up call, including a flashlight in the eyes and a kick in the leg. They must know that I'm tough to get up in the mornings! After a sensible continental-style breakfast, I checked out and was lovingly beaten and robbed by the eccentric clean-up crew.